Forgive and/or Forget

Having a good memory can be a very mixed blessing. It can be helpful in taking tests but very detrimental in giving forgiveness. When you remember your hurts so vividly, it makes you leery of putting yourself in a vulnerable position again, especially with someone who has previously caused you pain. A certain distancing takes place, and the relationship may never be the same again. This seeming inability to forget the transgressions of others can cause great pain and guilt. After all, 70x7 is a lot of times to take a beating, yet this is what Jesus seems to be asking of us. It's been a stumbling block for me and, I imagine, for many others. One day I finally asked a very wise minister about it: we always need to forgive, he said, but sometimes we also need to remember, so we aren't constantly setting ourselves up to be hurt by the same person or situation over and over again. That in itself is not healthy behavior. Praying and thinking about why someone acts the way they do, will sooner or later bring understanding. And that will hopefully engender forgiveness, tempered, perhaps, with a bit of caution, so we don't rush headlong into a similar situation again. After all, that is the essence of learning. Fortunately for us, the Lord doesn't have this problem. When we go to Him with a contrite heart, He not only forgives but even forgets! I believe Jesus is warning us in this passage that the quality of forgiveness cannot be quantitative. For when we limit it to others, a spiritual log jam is formed, and it no longer flows down to us as freely. God's "rules" are always written to protect us, not constrain us.

Matthew 18.21-22 - Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me? As often as seven times?" Jesus answered, "Not seven, I tell you, but seventy times seven."

Colossians 3.13 - Be tolerant of one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you.

Matthew 6.14 - Yes, if you forgive others their failings, your heavenly Father will forgive you yours; but if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive your failings either.

Luke 6.36-37 - Be compassionate as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge and you will not be judged yourselves; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned yourselves; grant pardon, and you will be pardoned.

Psalm 130.3-4 - Lord, if you keep in mind our sins, then who can ever get an answer to his prayers? But you forgive! What an awesome thing that is!

Isaiah 43.25 - I, yes, I alone am he who blots away your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.

Isaiah 44.22 - I've blotted away your sins; they are gone like morning mist at noon! Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free.

2 Corinthians 5.19 - For God was in Christ, restoring the world to himself, no longer counting men's sins against them, but blotting them out.

Micah 7.18-19 - What God can compare with you: taking fault away, pardoning crime, not cherishing anger forever but delighting in showing mercy? Once more have pity on us, tread down our faults, to the bottom of the sea throw all our sins.

Hebrews 10.17 - The Lord says, I will not remember their sins and evil deeds any longer.

Psalm 103.12 - He has removed our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west.

Hebrew 8.12 - I will be merciful to them in their wrongdoings, and I will remember their sins no more.